


Bookshelves, Phone Sex and Fanfic Fixing All Of The Problems

by tillyenna



Series: 15-16 Draft GC [16]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Chat Logs, Chirping as Flirting, Crack Fic, Group chat, M/M, No Fourth Wall, fic dealer carter hart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26273359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillyenna/pseuds/tillyenna
Summary: Real world events referenced in this chat:Carter Hart playing the guitar and keeping travis konecny upCale Makar accidentally cutting Gabe Landeskog's leg with his skateTravis and Travis on their tour of the bubble, where they encountered a MYSTERIOUS OBJECT CALLED A BOOKCASE
Relationships: Alex DeBrincat/Dylan Strome, Carter Hart/Cale Makar, Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid, Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick
Series: 15-16 Draft GC [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776370
Comments: 40
Kudos: 113





	1. In the middle of the night

Teeks:

| 

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST @HARTSY  
  
---|---  
  
Teeks:

| 

GO TO SLEEP  
  
Teeks:

| 

Shit. Sorry  
  
Teeks:

| 

Wrong GC  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’m hella tired  
  
Patty:

| 

CH still playing guitar?  
  
Teeks:

| 

😫🥱😴  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’M SO FUCKING TIRED HARTSY  
  
Hartsy:

| 

It helps me get into a sleep ready state  
  
Teeks:

| 

IT’S GOING TO HELP YOU DIE  
  
Davo:

| 

It’s the middle of the night  
  
Davo:

| 

Why are you playing guitar?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I literally just said  
  
Hartsy:

| 

It’s part of my routine  
  
Stromer:

| 

What are you playing?  
  
Teeks:

| 

FOR FUCKS SAKE  
  
Teeks:

| 

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT HE’S PLAYING  
  
Teeks:

| 

I WANT TO SLEEEEEEEEP  
  
Teeks:

| 

Hartsy, bud, please, we have a game tomorrow  
  
Chucky:

| 

Just jerk off and pass out like a normal person  
  
Teeks:

| 

Thanks for that beautiful insight into your life chucky  
  
Chucky:

| 

You’re WELCOME  
  
Teeks:

| 

DID YOU JUST START PLAYING MOANA???  
  
Hartsy:

| 

😂  
  
Teeks:

| 

YOU AREN’T FUCKING FUNNY  
  
Teeks:

| 

BECAUSE I’M NOW WAY TOO STRESSED TO SLEEP  
  
Teeks:

| 

AND I DON’T KNOW IF YOU FUCKING NOTICED  
  
Teeks:

| 

BUT WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PLAYOFF SERIES  
  
Teeks:

| 

AND WE HAVE A GAME TOMORROW  
  
Stromer:

| 

I’m with chucky…  
  
Stromer:

| 

You sound stressed  
  
Stromer:

| 

Maybe a little 5 on 1 might chill you out  
  
Teeks:

| 

Sure. I’ll just get RIGHT ON THAT.  
  
Teeks:

| 

While HARTSY SETS THE MOOD WITH HIS FUCKING MOOD MUSIC  
  
Patty:

| 

Want me to call 😉  
  
Patty:

| 

I can set the mood  
  
Hartsy:

| 

EW TMI  
  
Teeks:

| 

Patty, I’m gonna call you  
  
Teeks:

| 

And we are having the LOUDEST PHONE SEX EVER  
  
Teeks:

| 

Because FUCK YOU CARTER HART  
  
Chucky:

| 

😂😂😂  
  
Chucky:

| 

This groupchat is honestly my best entertainment  
  
Davo:

| 

You should all be sleeping however.  
  
Davo:

| 

@Hartsy you included  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I can’t sleep now  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Teeks is pressed up against the wall making fake sex noises  
  
Patty:

| 

Nah those r his reel sex noises  
  
Patty:

| 

He sounds that stupid all the time  
  
Hartsy:

| 

IN WHICH CASE GET OFF THE GROUP CHAT  
  
Stromer:

| 

Group chat rule?  
  
Stromer:

| 

No group chatting while you’re having phone sex  
  
Chucky:

| 

What about just jerking off?  
  
Chucky:

| 

Because then I would need to spend a lot less time on here  
  
Davo:

| 

EWWWW  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’M JOKING MCJE, lighten up  
  
Brinks:

| 

My phone vibrating so much woke me up  
  
Brinks:

| 

Just from all your messages  
  
Howdy:

| 

I turned off notifications on this chat a LONG TIME AGO  
  
Howdy:

| 

You’re all just so EXTRA  
  
Davo:

| 

Kit doesn’t want to miss any Dylan content  
  
Brinks:

| 

It’s sad because it’s true  
  
Stromer:

| 

Since we’re both up, wanna call?  
  
Brinks:

| 

:D  
  
Chucky:

| 

Ugh, is everyone in the GC just pairing off to have phone sex?  
  
Davo:

| 

Well now you’ve mentioned it, I might just go call Leon  
  
Marns:

| 

I’ll hang around for sad lonely times  
  
Marns:

| 

Team single in the GC unite :D  
  
Chucky:

| 

You don’t want to have phone sex with me?  
  
Chucky:

| 

#offended  
  
Marns:

| 

Call you in five?


	2. The Next Morning (Part 1)

8:

| 

Weird Question:  
  
---|---  
  
8:

| 

What does it mean if someone winks at you?  
  
79:

| 

Erm. Depends on the context?  
  
79:

| 

Like, mebbe sharing an inside joke or something?  
  
8:

| 

So it’s not like a ‘I fancy you’ thing  
  
79:

| 

??  
  
8:

| 

LIKE IDK, does winking have sexual connotations??  
  
79:

| 

I would go with no  
  
79:

| 

Did someone wink at you?  
  
8:

| 

Ugh, no, just  
  
8:

| 

Loads of stuff is bothering me at the moment and that was like  
  
8:

| 

THE SMALLEST bothering thing  
  
8:

| 

But also the only one I think I can tell you about  
  
79:

| 

Hey. Babes.  
  
79:

| 

*hugs* anything I can do to help?  
  
8:

| 

I just…  
  
8:

| 

Have you ever hurt anyone accidentally?  
  
79:

| 

Like, of course.  
  
8:

| 

I don’t know how to stop feeling bad about it  
  
79:

| 

Babes.  
  
79:

| 

Gorgeous.  
  
79:

| 

<3  
  
79:

| 

If it was a genuine accident you don’t need to feel bad  
  
8:

| 

But it was my fault  
  
79:

| 

Did you do something wrong?  
  
79:

| 

Or was it for real an accident?  
  
8:

| 

I deffo didn’t MEAN to  
  
8:

| 

Like, I don’t even 100% know how it happened.  
  
8:

| 

But they’re hurting  
  
8:

| 

And it’s me that did it  
  
79:

| 

Fuck. I wish I could cuddle you right now.  
  
79:

| 

Can you find teamies for cuddles?  
  
8:

| 

*shrug*  
  
79:

| 

8, sweetie, I think you should.  
  
8:

| 

I’d rather just be with you right now  
  
8:

| 

If that’s ok.  
  
79:

| 

Hey 😊 I’m never going to turn down your company  
  
79:

| 

How about I find us some hurt/comfort  
  
79:

| 

Got one here that’s bennguin  
  
79:

| 

Set after JBenn hit Segs in the face with his stick ACCIDENTALLY  
  
8:

| 

Lol  
  
8:

| 

IDK, I don’t really feel bennguin rn  
  
79:

| 

What about sid/geno  
  
79:

| 

I know you’re diehard sid/nate buttttt  
  
8:

| 

Premise?  
  
79:

| 

Sid breaks his arm playing with a bunch of kids off season  
  
79:

| 

G comes back from Russia to look after him  
  
8:

| 

Hit me with it  
  
79:

| 

<https://archiveofourown.org/works/887721>  
  
8:

| 

And thank you  
  
79:

| 

I mean it babes. I’m ALWAYS happy to help  
  
79:

| 

If I can make you smile, even a little bit  
  
79:

| 

It’s completely worth it  
  
8:

| 

<3 soft  
  
79:

| 

What can I say? You make me soft <3


	3. The Next Morning (Part 2)

Hartsy:

| 

@josty, you about?  
  
---|---  
  
Josty:

| 

Yhuh. Off day today.  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Cale is not ok about the landy thing  
  
Hartsy:

| 

He doesn’t want company, but I thought I’d give you a heads up  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Mebbe you can tell your As or who  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Is EJ still in the bubble with you?  
  
Josty:

| 

He told you all that?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

HA no.  
  
Hartsy:

| 

He was saying he was feeling bad about hurting someone accidentally  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I read between the lines  
  
Davo:

| 

Poor kid though  
  
Stromer:

| 

It’s just shit fucking luck when stuff like that happens  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Yeah, I’ve been all ‘accidents aren’t your fault’  
  
Hartsy:

| 

But obvs there’s only so much I can say  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Without revealing I know who he is  
  
Josty:

| 

I’ll get team D on it  
  
Patty:

| 

Team dick?  
  
Chucky:

| 

Yes Patty, team dick. That’s precisely what he meant.  
  
Patty:

| 

-.-  
  
Patty:

| 

Dyslexia doesn’t stop me from understanding sarcasm mathew  
  
Chucky

| 

Just spelling my name apparently :P  
  
Patty:

| 

Like FUCK am I gonna try ur other name  
  
Teeks:

| 

GO FOR IT  
  
Teeks:

| 

I BELIEVE IN YOU  
  
Patty:

| 

Ur still mad I cant spell UR name  
  
Teeks:

| 

BUD, you see it on my jersey EVERY FUCKING MATCH  
  
Patty:

| 

Uppercase is devil letters  
  
Patty:

| 

Also u cant talk  
  
Patty:

| 

Mr I have never seen a book shelf before  
  
Teeks:

| 

I HAVE SEEN BOOKSHELVES  
  
Teeks:

| 

JUST NOT IN HOTELS  
  
Teeks:

| 

AND I DIDN’T KNOW WE HAD ONE IN OUR HOTEL  
  
Hartsy:

| 

How did you not know about the bookshelf?  
  
Josty:

| 

OMG YOU READ STUFF OTHER THAN FANFIC?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Obviously.  
  
Patty:

| 

Also awks you filmed it wearing a top that said talentless  
  
Patty:

| 

When u haven’t scored a goal yet  
  
Teeks:

| 

YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BIGGEST FAN  
  
Patty:

| 

Bud. The only reason im ur biggest fan  
  
Patty:

| 

Is becuz ur only fans is me and ur mom  
  
Patty:

| 

And im bigger than her  
  
Teeks:

| 

:O SO YOU ARE MY FAN 🥰  
  
Patty:

| 

-.-  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Like, I love how that emoji actually looks so much like patty’s real life face  
  
Teeks:

| 

I KNOW RIGHT  
  
Patty:

| 

-.-  
  
Teeks:

| 

You type that  
  
Teeks:

| 

But I know you’re doing you’re cute trying not to grin face right now  
  
Patty:

| 

Shut up or I leave the chat  
  
Teeks:

| 

:D  
  
Teeks:

| 

Love you too bud xxx  
  
Marns:

| 

Well aren’t YOU TWO SICKENING  
  
Patty:

| 

Teeks is sickening  
  
Patty:

| 

All on his own  
  
Davo:

| 

I feel that’s like Dylan and Kit most of the time  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I have to ask… why is Alex called Kit  
  
Brinks:

| 

-.- please don’t ask  
  
Stromer:

| 

😻😻😻  
  
Davo:

| 

It’s short for kitten  
  
Davo:

| 

From debrinCAT  
  
Stromer:

| 

ONLY HE’S NOT CAT SIZED HE’S KITTEN SIZED  
  
Brinks:

| 

Remind me again why I love you?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Can’t…  
  
Stromer:

| 

Not allowed to send dick pics in the GC remember?  
  
Stromer:

| 

😂😂😂😂😂  
  
Marns:

| 

DID YOU NOT LEARN YOUR LESSON FOR NO DICK PICS DYL  
  
Stromer:

| 

OBVIOUSLY I AM ONLY JOKING  
  
Stromer:

| 

Also why aren’t you here yet?  
  
McLeod:

| 

What Dylan says  
  
McLeod:

| 

I AM SO DONE WITH IT ONLY BEING ME AND DYL  
  
McLeod:

| 

Like, I love him  
  
McLeod:

| 

But if I have to listen to one more rant about how perfect brinks is  
  
McLeod:

| 

I won’t be held accountable for my actions  
  
Stromer:

| 

Fuck you  
  
Stromer:

| 

He IS perfect though  
  
Marns:

| 

Ugh, shall I come round before or after lunch?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Before, Mrs McL can feed us all  
  
Marns:

| 

That answers my next question  
  
Marns:

| 

Which was gonna be where are you  
  
Marns:

| 

😂  
  
Marns:

| 

@Davo, want a lift?  
  
Davo:

| 

I’m not dressed yet  
  
Marns:

| 

Well you better fucking hurry up then :P  
  
Brinks:

| 

☹  
  
Stromer:

| 

Just come back babes  
  
Brinks:

| 

My parents would be super mad  
  
Brinks:

| 

I already get told I spend waaaay too much of the off season with you  
  
Brinks:

| 

Because we get all season together  
  
Stromer:

| 

Idc. COME BACK I MISS YOU  
  
Davo:

| 

I ALSO don’t care. Dyl is kind of unbearable without you  
  
McLeod:

| 

Not kind of  
  
McLeod:

| 

TOTALLY UNBEARABLE  
  
McLeod:

| 

Dyl: picks up a glass of water, sighs, KIT DRINKS WATER SOMETIMES TOO  
  
Stromer:

| 

I’m not THAT bad  
  
Teeks:

| 

Dude  
  
Teeks:

| 

Having played internationals with you where you’ve been away from him for like, a couple of days max  
  
Teeks:

| 

YOU REALLY ARE THAT BAD  
  
Davo:

| 

I always thought it would fade with time  
  
Stromer:

| 

MY LOVE FOR BINKSY WILL NEVER FADE  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Would it help if I sent you stromecat fics?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Then you could READ about you and alex being cute together?  
  
Stromer:

| 

I mean…  
  
Stromer:

| 

Yes.  
  
Stromer:

| 

DO THIS  
  
Hartsy:

| 

<https://archiveofourown.org/works/18782719>  
  
Hartsy:

| 

You guys get married to force the yotes to trade you to the hawks  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Fake marriage = best trope  
  
Hartsy:

| 

That reminds me TK, I found another cute tk/nolpats if you want it  
  
Teeks:

| 

Gross. I don’t read fanfic  
  
Hartsy:

| 

*sigh*  
  
Teeks:

| 

….?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

<https://archiveofourown.org/works/26098528/>  
  
Hartsy:

| 

It’s basically you thirsting over summer lesbian pats  
  
Teeks:

| 

Thanks bud. You’re a gem.  
  
Patty:

| 

>:( NO PODFIC CONTENT  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’ll save it and read it you  
  
Davo:

| 

I feel like I’m the only person left on this chat who DOESN’T read fanfic  
  
Howdy:

| 

I also don’t  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I mean, if you tell me who you’d like to read about  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I AM HAPPY TO BE YOUR FIC DEALER  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Want some you/leon @davo?  
  
Davo:

| 

That exists?  
  
Davo:

| 

I thought people always did me/dyl and leon/matt  
  
Hartsy:

| 

DUDE there are fics about EVERYONE  
  
Hartsy:

| 

A quick search finds me 11 fics that are about you and Ryan Strome  
  
Hartsy:

| 

#topical  
  
Stromer:

| 

#BANNED  
  
Stromer:

| 

NO RYAN/CONNOR CONTENT TO BE SHARED IN THE GROUP CHAT  
  
Stromer:

| 

NEW GROUP CHAT RULE  
  
Hartsy:

| 

#sorrynotsorry  
  
**Author's Note:**

> Dyslexic patty is just headcannon, but he can't tie a tie or his laces and those are pretty standard dyslexia traits, so I live for dyslexic patty.
> 
> Also, please, pray with me for both the flyers and the avs to get through to the next round when they will move all the teams to one bubble. PRAY WITH ME


End file.
